Take a Step Back
Hi, it’s been a while – over six months now. I’m glad you’re still here if you’ve been checking in. And if you’re just popping in for the first time, welcome!
Towards the end of summer last year, my health went into a downward spiral. To be honest, it was probably the whole summer, but I won’t bore you with unnecessary details. My loved ones were constantly asking me if I felt okay and of course I said I was fine. It wasn’t until I was admitted to the hospital just before Thanksgiving that I realized how much my health was suffering. I spent all of December getting testing done, being in and out of the ER, and trying to stay afloat while I waited for answers.
With all of this chaos flipping my “normal” life around, I spent a lot of time reflecting on what I value and what I want to add to make this ONE LIFE I have the best experience I could imagine. Being four hours away from my immediate family was challenging and there were lots of phone calls. I discovered that I missed my village. My friends from all other chapters of life.
Home
You know how in a previous post, I mentioned that whenever my mom came to visit- I felt like home was coming back to me? Like a breath of fresh air. I decided to make the leap back to the familiar. I moved to the Appleton area, sold my house in the northwoods, and have started my next chapter. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED my little northwoods chapter, my evolved family there and the tranquility that my entire body felt when I called the UP “home”.
The UP will always be one version of “home” to me. I met incredible people. Everyone was always accepting, supportive, lent an ear to listen and hands to help. I made so many memories to look back on doing things I wouldn’t have normally gone out of my way to try. I explored new areas of the world that I didn’t even know existed (some, I did know of). I learned so much about myself and overcame some really challenging times too.
Life was different there and it will always be a part of me.
An ongoing challenge that I regularly battled with was that a part of me was missing. Other versions of “home”. I was missing my friends from other chapters of my life and their big milestones that I would have LOVED to be more involved in. It was so difficult seeing the people I care about so much, only a handful of times. Some of those friendships diminished and some of them have recovered and come back stronger than before I moved up north.
Appleton is a great middle ground of all of the people in my life that I so deeply care about. From my northwoods chapter AND the chapters that came before it. I get to plan and attend more gatherings MORE often. I get to plan day trips to spend time at local events, discover new restaurants, and explore towns I’ve never been in, both here and there. I get to make new friends and expose myself to even more opportunities here.
The Decision
It was not an easy decision by any means to sell my house and move back to Wisconsin. There were many nights of uncontrollable sobbing, excitement for what was coming next, and feeling everything all at once. It’s a very strange thing to experience. And even being here for the two short months I have been, those emotions are still lingering around and that’s okay.
It’s okay to feel a lot of big emotions all at once. It’s okay to grieve something that I didn’t completely want to let go of. I knew I wanted more in my life. I wanted to add things that I was missing from before. I knew I wanted to make lifestyle changes and this was the way I went about it. AND there is no “right” way to do anything in life, only what feels right to us. If anyone disagrees with a decision, we’re allowed to agree to disagree with them.
